Eleni Aroni PsyT & Coach

Welcoming problems (part one)


Benjamin Franklin said: Things that hurt us, teach us.

That is the reason that sensible people learn not to be afraid of problems, instead they welcome them.
It is essential to accept that All of us own a healthy inner core, own the potential to inspire ourselves and our children the way to succeed mental and phycological health.
This healthy core has the dynamic and the potential, has the qualities that we need to face our problems and the emotions that accompany them.
When we do that, we do not avoid the hardship that problems have and we realise afterwards, when they are solved, that what we have learned, are valuable recourses for our life.
I would dare say, that these resources are the most valuable of all.

Scott Peck in his book,  “The Road less travelled” writes:
“Let’s teach ourselves and our children the necessity of hardship, its value, the need to directly face our problems and endure the inconvenience that is associated with them.
Most of us are not so wise.
Being afraid of the labor that a problem entails, almost all of us, less or more, try to avoid problems.
We delay them, hoping that so they will disappear.
We ignore them, forget them, try to persuade ourselves that they do not exist.
We try to get out of them, instead of suffering in them.
Some of us, we go very far to avoid our problems and the hardship that they infect, walking away from what is clearly meaningful and logical, in our effort, to find an easy exit, building the most complicated fantasies in which we live, sometimes disconnecting completely from reality.
But this substitute finally becomes more painful from the reasonable inconvenience that was meant to avoid. This neurosis becomes the major problem now. So, many try to avoid the hardship and the specified problem, creating one layer of neurosis over another.
Luckily, some have the courage to face their neurosis and start  (usually with the support of psychotherapy) to learn how to endure the normal hardship that a problem has. However when we avoid the normal hardship that arises facing a problem, we avoid as well the progress that problems unfold in our life.
I encourage you to study Scott Peck’s book “The Road less travelled”

Life is evolving all these millions of years with a specified manner. Life puts obstacles to appear, to rise, so that they are faced and resolved. This is how life reveals Meaning.
Pleasures relax, Sorrows empower.
How else do you think humans developed, unless they did not contain the innate dynamic not only to enjoy pleasures but to face sorrows?
We human beings need to remember who we really are, to realise that Life is not an easy case, but has incredibly valuable Meaning that we have the Will to live up to Life standards.
This Will when activated, is experienced as the Ultimate expression of Love.