We read or hear or think of many “ways” to establish a healthy and happy relationship with someone else in our private lives or our workplace.

In fact we observe from the outside, other “seemingly” healthy relationships and wonder: if she/he can have one, why shouldn’t I? What is wrong with me?

This article will propose a different guideline on how to establish a healthy and happy relationship with another being or to make a conscious choice to let go:
Practice on developing the skill of Intuition (and a balanced sense of self).
Intuition is not a gift but a skill, in fact it is a skill based on self esteem.

Carolyn Myss Ph.D. Medical Intuitive in her book the Anatomy of the Spirit, writes:
“Intuition is our innate capacity to directly connect with our energy field.
With practice and the proper guidance we can learn how to interpret the language of energy.
We are constantly “in communication” with everything around us through this energy system, which is a kind of conscious electricity that transmits messages…
These messages from and within the energy field, are what intuitive people perceive…
If for example, we tell a lie, our energy field will often communicate to our consciousness or/and to the other person, the “energy fact” that we are not telling the truth.
Energy does not and cannot lie.

I learned, Myss writes, through experience to discern the difference between personal and impersonal impressions, my indicator of an accurate intuition is Lack of emotion.
For me, a clear impression has No emotional energy connected to it whatsoever.
If I feel an emotional connection to an impression, then I consider that impression to be contaminated….
In developing your skill and trying it out in your own life, however, you Must trust your gut responses – a fact I cannot emphasise enough.”

Many people confuse their intuitive skill with their belief system.
Our belief system is instantly triggered the moment we relate with others.
So be aware that, this instant thought or instant feeling, might not be an intuitive message!
It is probable the interpretation that your belief system is bringing up!
Listen to that and inquire whether you find it meaningful to make a choice according to what you thought or what you felt.
I will emphasise the meaningfulness of your choice, since something is meaningful.
Only if it feels that it is the right thing for you, whether you like it or not!

In the new age approach belief systems (learned knowledge) are considered that limit our well being. That we should practice to liberate our mind from them.
My direct experience is different.
Observing the activation of a belief: thought + emotion, without any judgement or interpretation and remembering that we have a choice to act or not upon it, feeds the muscle of Intuition.

“I knew I should have listened to my intuition. I sensed that I should/should not have done such and such, but I didn’t listen”
Clarissa Pinkola Estes Ph.D, in her book Women who Run with the Wolves writes:

“Refuse to repress your vivid energies… that means your opinions, your thoughts, your values, your morals, your ideas.
Let your innate voice dictate the ups or downs of your life, not other forces or persons outside yourself, nor negative complexes from within.

We feed the deep intuitive self by listening to it and acting upon its advice. In this way it is like the muscles in the body. If a muscle is not used, eventually it withers.
Intuition is exactly like that: without food, without employment, it atrophies.”

To practice the muscle of Intuition one must first of all become a master of self observation.
By raising the skill of self observation gradually your subtle awareness will rise enough so that it can recognise the intuitive messages, the inner hearing, the inner seeing, the inner being. Follow it. It knows what to do next.

Practice self observation to enhance your Intuitive muscle:
Choose to hear your self carefully, what you say, your words, the content of your phrases, when you talk with someone, and remember your own wording.
Ask yourself:
What I said, was it what I really wanted to say?
Were my words Meaningful to me?
Did I listen to my inner guidance?
Gradually your intuitive voice will be clearly heard… follow it.