Lately i’ve observed that I still got some poison (less than in the past) from toxic or negative behaviours of other people, while I still produce a small amount of poison with my thoughts , words and actions.

So I started a “campaign”( praying and meditating) in my inner world to gather the appropriate forces in order to:
1. Upgrade my skill to identify toxic or negative behaviours and take a distance.
2. Upgrade my skill to “see” the negative thought viruses or the emotional shadows of others that undermine my intelligence. (I liked this description that Robin Sharma wrote in his latest book The Wealth Money Can’t Buy”)
3. To shut down my inner poison production factory so that the inner forces can proceed to recycle it.

The “campaign” was fruitful since:

1. I now possess a mental list to recognise toxic or negative behaviours so that I can take a distance (you’ll find it further down)
2. I practice observation and refrain from judgements or reactions.
When observation is over 80% capacity, the negative virus and the emotional shadows of others , are visible (read my ideas in practicing observation or read Marshall Rosenberg’s book Non Violent Communication)
3. I created an action plan that I apply with determination, zest and discipline on a daily basis to sabotage or shut down  the production of poison in my thoughts, words and actions and from what I hear inner forces have started recycling. ( my action plan is attached below, for inspiration)

My Mental List to identify toxic or negative behaviours: (I invite you to make your own!)

1. Negativity Noodle – Twists every situation into something negative.
2. Pessimistic Pancake – Flat and heavy with bad vibes
3. Blame-shifter – Expert at dodging responsibility like it’s a sport.
4. Toxic Tornado – Sweeps in with chaos and leaves destruction in their wake.
5. Mood Mangler – Crushes good vibes in seconds.
6. Attention Sponge – Soaks up all the attention, even if it’s not theirs to take.
7. Whine-o-saurus – Extinct species that only knows how to complain.
8. Guilt Trip Guru – Masters the art of making you feel bad for things you didn’t do.
9. Drama Llama – Always stirring up unnecessary drama
10. Energy Vampire – Sucks the life out of every room they enter.

Practicing Observation (instead of judging or reacting)
Observe the data and refrain your judgements. The challenge is to discern data from our assumptions or our belief system. ( Stay literally in what your eyes  see and your ears hear, do not interpret, assume, compare. Ask more instead of reacting or judging. If against all odds you are overwhelmed from judgements or reactions, Hold that to your self, do not express it and do not Believe it!)
Judgements raise defence and reactions. It is a kind of toxic violence.
Guilt, shame, anger and fear dissolve Good Will and Empathy.
Evaluations that block Communication: judgements, comparisons, denial of responsibility, transfer of responsibility.

When you choose to remain in the Observation mode, you will easily “see” the negative thought virus and emotional shadows that others might defuse.

Now you know what you have to do! You take a distance from that person and apply the following.

Action Plan (shutting down my poison production factory)

1. As soon as I hear a thought that contains anger or disappointment or pain or complain or comparison or anything negative about someone else, I do not engage in conversation with that thought! I do not analyse it ! I do not go in the past! I do not generalise! I do not share that thought with others!
2. Instead of the above, that exact moment is the most appropriate to think: “Is that thought useful for me? Does it make any sense? Is it the right thought for me and the others?”
3. I shift my attention to explore the usefulness, meaningfulness and rightfulness of this exact situation and I communicate it.
4. If I do not succeed, I distract my attention to something else and I come back when I feel ready to make the exploration.
5. I repeat the process EVERY TIME toxic or negative thoughts appear in order to block toxic behaviour.
6. If my words or my actions contain poison, I honestly apologise and commit myself that this will never happen again, something that I attend with extra responsibility to stand by, otherwise I seek support from a specialist.
7. I daily practice mindfulness (gardening, meditating, dancing, yoga). The less the mind is neurotic the easiest it is to have the space to examine it.
8. I read daily a few pages of books that inspire me to have a peaceful mind.
9. I associate people that have joy, creativity, serenity and peacefulness in their lives, facing life’s hardships with courage and compassion, practicing responsibility and staying authentic. People that live a useful and meaningful life for themselves and the others.
10. I deny to engage in gossips, judgements or say anything negative for another human being.

The collateral profit of the above project is that I wake up smiling, with clear mind, creative mood, gratefulness and lots of love in me and around me, having done nothing to realise them!
They appear as a gift in a magical way!
Also practicing Observation a lens is activated that brings into light the charismas of the other or of myself. (it is impossible to judge or react with that lens on!)